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RidleyFAQs: A GameFAQs and Ridley fanfic
RidleyFAQs is a fanfic created by Patwhit01. Chapter One: Ridley Ridley: I am so evil, I stole Samus' computer! Samus appears out of nowhere, looking through Ridley's window with the angriest of angry faces. Ridley breaks the window and throws her into space. Ridley: Next tuesday, Samus. Ridley: I've heard about the new Smash Bros. I wanna talk about it too! Ridley finds GameFAQS on a bing search. Ridley: Yeah, I use Bing. Google is for scrubs. Ridley browses through the topic list. Ridley: "Ridley is too big" Aww come on, this guy is really saying this excuse? Ridley posts "Ridley is not too big" under the account name "Ridley" Ridley: Man, what's this guy's problem? I ain't too big, and I ain't a boss. Stupid green pokemon man! Ridley finds one of LordCarlisle's Ghirahim topics. Ridley is dissapointed. Ridley: These people want GHIRAHIM but not ME? There's a knock on Ridley's door. Ridley gets up from his 50 foot chair and opens it. Ridley: Oh... Hey Ghirahim. Ghirahim: Hey Ridley! Guess what? Ridley: What? Ghirahim holds up an envelope with the Smash symbol on it. Ghirahim: I got an invitation to Smash! Did you get yours yet? Ridley: No... Ghirahim: Well that's too bad. I'm sure you'll get yours soon. A head pokes out the window of Ghirahim's limozine he stole from Samus. LordCarlisle: HURRY UP BABY!! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE! Ghirahim: Oh yeah, I gotta go to a date with my new boyfriend! See ya around Ridley! Ghirahim gets back in the limo with LordCarlisle, and they drive away. Off a cliff. Then it explodes. Chapter Two: Ridley meets GameFAQs Ridley: Well... this is stupid. Some random guy falls into Ridley's room, breaking his roof. Ridley: Again?!? That's the third time this week! 2 more people falls through Ridley's roof, but making more holes. Ridley: ARE YOU SERIOUS Energyman2289: No time to explain, cmon Ridley! Ridley: who the hell are you Energyman2289: No time to explain, cmon Ridley! Ridley: answer my question! Energyman2289: No time to explain, cmon Ridley! Ridley: fine. Ridley: Who the hell are you guys anyway? SmashingBros: We are the Elite GameFAQS Squad of Awesomeness Ridley: sounds stupid SmashingBros: We know. But there's an eeeeevilllll team of trolls trying to shut down GameFAQS and turn it into a evil hellspawn trollfest! Mikokiri: it kinda already is... SmashingBros: True. But they're trying to make it worse! Ridley: And why do you need my help? Energyman2289: because you are Ridley! You are the ultimate Smash Bros request! You have the power of the "Too Big Stones" Ridley: uh, come again Energyman2289: The "Too Big Stones" Ridley: I wish I had a GameFAQS perspective.... Mikokiri: There are 7 "Too Big Stones" scattered around the GameFAQS universe. If they are all put together, they create a Mega Stone for you, Ridley. You become "Mega Ridley in his Sports Outfit X" Ridley: This makes no sense. SmashingBros: Of course! Energyman2289: Well, we gotta find the first Too Big Stone! Energyman2289: Squadala, we are off! Chapter Three: In which Ridley does nothing Ridley: So where's the first Too Big Stone located? Mikokiri: It seems to be located in Chrobville, which seems to be 100 miles north of here. Ridley: Wait... so where'd you get this ship? SmashingBros: We stole it from Samus. Ridley: Ohh, I see. 2 hours later... Mikokiri: I see Chrobville! Energyman2289: Okay, landing! And so they landed in Chrobville. A random guy with Elvis hair, an orange shirt, and yellow shorts runs up to them. Michaellol: You! You must be new! SmashingBros: Uhh, yeah? Michaellol: DO YOU SUPPORT DIHSO FOR OUR QUEEN? SmashingBros: Go away, Michaellol. Michaellol: DIHSO FOR QUEEN! Michaellol runs off, Ridley questions life, and they walk through town. They enter the market, passing by a bunch of stands selling Corn on the Chrob. Ridley: Chrob? Don't they mean Chrom? Energyman2289: Shhh! Don't say that around here! Ridley: Why? SmashingBros: Because, this is GameFAQS. Don't ever question GameFAQS. Mikokiri: My Ridley Radar is picking up a Too Big Stone! Ridley: Where? Mikokiri: It seems to be in the possession of someone! No wait... THREE people! Ridley: Well let's go after them! Hop on my back! Energyman, SmashingBros, and Mikokiri ride on Ridley's back as they chase the three people on the radar. Mikokiri: I see them! Down there! Fly down, Ridley! Ridley: Okay! Mikokiri: Aha! We got you now! Chorus Man 1: Woah woah woah... Can't you see we're busy with something? Chorus Man 2: Yeah, we're in a hurry and gotta go somewhere, could you please move your giant dragon? Ridley: That's MR. Giant Dragon to you! Chorus Man 3: Oh great, he caught up to us... NintendoIsBeast: Why hello, Elite GameFAQS Squad... How nice to see you again... Chapter Four: The Too Big Stone Ridley: Who's this clown? Energyman2289: That's NintendoIsBeast, one of the main trolls of GameFAQS. Ridley: What's trolling? Energyman2289: He makes topics based around making people mad because he feeds off of anger. Ridley: Sounds like a no-lifer. NintendoIsBeast: I HEARD THAT! NintendoIsBeast takes out a walkie-talkie from his pocket and whispers into it. NintendoIsBeast: Requesting backup. Ridley called me a no-lifer. Smoke fills the area, and 2 people walk out from behind NintendoIsBeast. User728: I told you guys he was too big! laughs He's like 10 feet tall! NoJobBob: So you guys are just gonna protect the little marshmallow men or are you gonna let us have the Too Big Stone? SmashingBros: What are you gonna do with the Too Big Stone? Only Ridley can use it! NoJobBob: We looked over that, and found a solution. User728 whistles. Something flies above and blocks out the sun. It flies down and smashes the ground, causing a small crater surrounding where it landed. Meta Ridley: Suuuuuup. Ridley: *snaps fingers* Oh heeeeeellllll naw! User728: We called over Meta Ridley to help us with our little... how can I put this... fun time. SmashingBros: I gotta say... Chapter Five: The Too Big Stone: For Real This Time... Maybe? Meta Ridley: Come on, Ridley... We promise to put you in Smash... if you gives us the Too Big Stone... Ridley: S-Smash?? Meta Ridley: Yeah! Don't you want to be in Smash?? We can convince Mr. Sakurai... Ridley: Well... Sounds tempting... Energyman2289: Don't do it Ridley! You still have a chance! Ridley: Okay, Meta Ridley... I'll do it. Mikokiri: No! Ridley: loljk Energyman, SmashingBros, Mikokiri, and the Chorus Men jump onto Ridley's back, and Ridley flies off... NintendoIsBeast: Go after him! Meta Ridley: Oh, okay. Meta Ridley flies up, speeding after Ridley. When suddenly, someone riding Charizard appears out of nowhere and throws a Omega Rainbow Chrob Grenade at Meta Ridley. It explodes and Meta Ridley plummets to the ground. ViewtifulGene: Take that, you Metroid Kart 8 fodder! NintendoIsBeast: '''Are you serious? '''User728: Dangit, we were so close too! NintendoIsBeast: Not really. User728: Meh. Ridley and Charizard land, and everyone jumps off. SmashingBros: ViewtifulGene? What are you doing here? ViewtifulGene: I was eating Corn on the Chrob when I heard Meta Ridley flying by my floating castle of awesomeness. He stole my lunchmoney in 3rd grade so I threw a Chrob Grenade at him. Energyman2289: I see... ViewtifulGene: *looks behind Ridley* Why are you with the Chorus Men? Ridley: They have the first Too Big Stone. ViewtifulGene: You can talk, Ridley? Ridley: Uhh... yeah? ViewtifulGene: Amazing discovery. I have to go finish my Corn on the Chrob now. Good luck on your adventure. ViewtifulGene flies away, and everyone turns to the Chorus Men. Mikokiri: Hand it over. Chorus Men: Okay... just don't hurt us... Ridley: k The Chorus Men hand over the Too Big Stone to Mikokiri. SmashingBros raises his eyebrow. Energyman2289: Explain. Chorus Men: Okay... here goes... Category:FanFiction